Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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