"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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