"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
