i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
