wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
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