I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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