I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
