i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
