I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
