is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He better not be in your backpack
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize