giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
