is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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