i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize