it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I need moral support for this bender
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
