I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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