Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
