unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
