Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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