I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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