rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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