So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
