I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think your dad took our porno
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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