He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
