I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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