And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
