just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Hippo gnu deer
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
