There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
