The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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