I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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