isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
