it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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