its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
