saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
