Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
