Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
