I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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