We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize