And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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