Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
