Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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