i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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