Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
