Porn is love you can see.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
They took my balls.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
