I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I need to stop coming to work sober
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
