When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
