and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
