Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize