But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize