Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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