By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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