I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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