Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
