I skipped work to stalk him.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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