shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
