You really coming over, don't trick.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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