He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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