so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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