My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
