Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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