there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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