he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You can't motorboat a personality
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
