i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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